The Thinking Person's Pool - 2005 Edition
May Madness
The Administration wishes to thank TPP veteran ADAM BRUMBERG for suggesting that Mrs. Administration look on the other side of the bed for her husband. There, trapped against the side of the mattress by the elastic of a fitted sheet, was Mr. Administration, who emerged to ask for some floss after a two-month slumber.
A team of counselors was on hand to help him cope with the horrible events that had unfolded during his long slumber: He had failed to update the TPP home page, and the Washington Wizards had up and won a playoff series.
The Administration begs the forgiveness of TPP participants for the long and inexcusable absence of final standings and awards.
The winner of first prize in the 2005 pool was BILL LEONARD. Second prize went to ROB HENRY. These two lifelong ACCniks put their money where their hearts were. We like that at TPP, even if it meant putting up with that lame argyle Alexander Julian stripe on the side of Carolina’s jerseys. Ew.
The final standings:
And now kindly step this way into the Ballroom of Humiliation for this year’s awards banquet:
TWISTED GENIUS, or the “Genie”
The most brilliant upset picks
Gold “Genie”: Awarded to SUZANNE BORENZWEIG, MICHAEL HOPPS, JOE LAZUR, and MIKE MITCHELL for picking 12th-seeded Wisconsin-Milwaukee to make it to the Sweet Sixteen.
Silver “Genie”: To MIKE FROST and SHARON WEBBER for picking 13th-seeded Vermont to upset 4th-seeded Syracuse.
Bronze “Genie”: To MICHAEL HOPPS, BILL LEONARD, and TPP rookie ALEX SELDIN for picking North Carolina State to advance to the Sweet Sixteen, taking out number 2 seed Connecticut along the way.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
The most baffling picks
As far as we can tell, the primary criterion used by TPP freshman MADDY BRUMBERG to make her selections was: “Which team ends in the letter A?” Her national championship game was Gonzaga against Villanova (she also listed Chattanooga as one of her favorite teams, and picked the 15th-seeded Mocs to make the Sweet Sixteen). The Administration forgives rookies; the standings do not. Maddy broke the pool’s all-time record for lowest total points. We are certain that she will come back strong after an intensive offseason strength and conditioning program to kick our butts next year.
SUBCOMMANDER MARCOS “BLOOD OF PARTISANS” AWARD
For courageous support of a favorite team or teams with little regard for profit
It is highly unusual for this prestigious award to be given to the TPP’s first prize winner. But this year, BILL LEONARD earned a BoP for his unquestioning faith in the ACC. Three of his Final Four teams were from his once and future home of North Carolina (Wake, Duke, and his alma mater, UNC). He even picked NC State and Georgia Tech to make the round of sixteen. In a pool filled with ACC sympathizers, only Bill had the guts to bet the farm on all his Tobacco Road homies.
PERSONAL FOUL
For betting against a favorite team (or for a hated team) in the shameless pursuit of profit
Not awarded this year — well done, brothers and sisters.
11th COMMANDMENT (“Thou shalt not spill thy seeds upon the Earth”) BADGE OF SHAME
For most conservative overall bracket
TPP giveth, and TPP taketh away. While BILL LEONARD deserves props for backing his favorite teams (see above), his apparent heroism masked the ugly truth: His bracket was wussy. Bill was the only participant who had the gall to submit a bracket with three number one seeds in the Final Four. Perhaps he thought he was letting his hair down by picking Wake Forest, the 2nd seed in Albuquerque, to join them in St. Louis. Pshaw! Picking top-seeded Washington would’ve shown more backbone than that. For shame.
THE JOE LAZUR MEMORIAL COVER LETTER AWARD
For most entertaining bracket submission (includes free entry to next year’s TPP)
The award’s namesake, JOE LAZUR (who insists he’s still alive), broke Adam Brumberg’s two-year stranglehold on this award. Joe’s brackets were submitted as several pieces of delicately folded origami art, including two clever, brightly colored paper boxes containing little pastel candy hearts. While the Administration was delighted by Joe’s craftsmanship, we have submitted a formal request to the Minnesota Bureau of Gender to revoke his license to practice manhood in his home state.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
For dedicated service to the Thinking Person’s Pool
This special award goes to MIKE FROST for his splendid web design and hard work. Where would the TPP be without him? Thank you, Mike. He has asked that all donations be made to the Matt Millen Fund, a non-profit organization working to help make brighter futures possible for mentally disabled general managers of professional football franchises.
2005 SURVEY RESULTS
Who we love, who we hate
The absence of historically polarizing teams such as Maryland, Indiana, and Temple threw off the typical dynamics of the annual survey results. There were few commonly loved teams. Among the most loathed teams, please note the rise of North Carolina. It’s the price of success, we fear.
We love…
1. George Washington, Pennsylvania (4 votes)
2. Niagara, Oakland, Syracuse (3 votes)
We hate…
1. Duke (13 votes)
2. North Carolina, Texas Tech (7 votes)
3. Stanford (3 votes)
A team of counselors was on hand to help him cope with the horrible events that had unfolded during his long slumber: He had failed to update the TPP home page, and the Washington Wizards had up and won a playoff series.
The Administration begs the forgiveness of TPP participants for the long and inexcusable absence of final standings and awards.
The winner of first prize in the 2005 pool was BILL LEONARD. Second prize went to ROB HENRY. These two lifelong ACCniks put their money where their hearts were. We like that at TPP, even if it meant putting up with that lame argyle Alexander Julian stripe on the side of Carolina’s jerseys. Ew.
The final standings:
| Participant | Points |
|---|---|
| Leonard (first prize) | |
| Henry (second prize) | |
| Weintraub | |
| Gibbs | |
| Wyner | |
| Tait | |
| Hopps | |
| Mitchell | |
| Webber | |
| Borenzweig | |
| Seldin | |
| Frost | |
| Swartwout | |
| Lazur | |
| Brumberg, A | |
| Brumberg, D & J | |
| Hoffmann | |
| Miller | |
| Brumberg, M |
And now kindly step this way into the Ballroom of Humiliation for this year’s awards banquet:
TWISTED GENIUS, or the “Genie”
The most brilliant upset picks
Gold “Genie”: Awarded to SUZANNE BORENZWEIG, MICHAEL HOPPS, JOE LAZUR, and MIKE MITCHELL for picking 12th-seeded Wisconsin-Milwaukee to make it to the Sweet Sixteen.
Silver “Genie”: To MIKE FROST and SHARON WEBBER for picking 13th-seeded Vermont to upset 4th-seeded Syracuse.
Bronze “Genie”: To MICHAEL HOPPS, BILL LEONARD, and TPP rookie ALEX SELDIN for picking North Carolina State to advance to the Sweet Sixteen, taking out number 2 seed Connecticut along the way.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
The most baffling picks
As far as we can tell, the primary criterion used by TPP freshman MADDY BRUMBERG to make her selections was: “Which team ends in the letter A?” Her national championship game was Gonzaga against Villanova (she also listed Chattanooga as one of her favorite teams, and picked the 15th-seeded Mocs to make the Sweet Sixteen). The Administration forgives rookies; the standings do not. Maddy broke the pool’s all-time record for lowest total points. We are certain that she will come back strong after an intensive offseason strength and conditioning program to kick our butts next year.
SUBCOMMANDER MARCOS “BLOOD OF PARTISANS” AWARD
For courageous support of a favorite team or teams with little regard for profit
It is highly unusual for this prestigious award to be given to the TPP’s first prize winner. But this year, BILL LEONARD earned a BoP for his unquestioning faith in the ACC. Three of his Final Four teams were from his once and future home of North Carolina (Wake, Duke, and his alma mater, UNC). He even picked NC State and Georgia Tech to make the round of sixteen. In a pool filled with ACC sympathizers, only Bill had the guts to bet the farm on all his Tobacco Road homies.
PERSONAL FOUL
For betting against a favorite team (or for a hated team) in the shameless pursuit of profit
Not awarded this year — well done, brothers and sisters.
11th COMMANDMENT (“Thou shalt not spill thy seeds upon the Earth”) BADGE OF SHAME
For most conservative overall bracket
TPP giveth, and TPP taketh away. While BILL LEONARD deserves props for backing his favorite teams (see above), his apparent heroism masked the ugly truth: His bracket was wussy. Bill was the only participant who had the gall to submit a bracket with three number one seeds in the Final Four. Perhaps he thought he was letting his hair down by picking Wake Forest, the 2nd seed in Albuquerque, to join them in St. Louis. Pshaw! Picking top-seeded Washington would’ve shown more backbone than that. For shame.
THE JOE LAZUR MEMORIAL COVER LETTER AWARD
For most entertaining bracket submission (includes free entry to next year’s TPP)
The award’s namesake, JOE LAZUR (who insists he’s still alive), broke Adam Brumberg’s two-year stranglehold on this award. Joe’s brackets were submitted as several pieces of delicately folded origami art, including two clever, brightly colored paper boxes containing little pastel candy hearts. While the Administration was delighted by Joe’s craftsmanship, we have submitted a formal request to the Minnesota Bureau of Gender to revoke his license to practice manhood in his home state.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
For dedicated service to the Thinking Person’s Pool
This special award goes to MIKE FROST for his splendid web design and hard work. Where would the TPP be without him? Thank you, Mike. He has asked that all donations be made to the Matt Millen Fund, a non-profit organization working to help make brighter futures possible for mentally disabled general managers of professional football franchises.
2005 SURVEY RESULTS
Who we love, who we hate
The absence of historically polarizing teams such as Maryland, Indiana, and Temple threw off the typical dynamics of the annual survey results. There were few commonly loved teams. Among the most loathed teams, please note the rise of North Carolina. It’s the price of success, we fear.
We love…
1. George Washington, Pennsylvania (4 votes)
2. Niagara, Oakland, Syracuse (3 votes)
We hate…
1. Duke (13 votes)
2. North Carolina, Texas Tech (7 votes)
3. Stanford (3 votes)
posted by mike at 7:22 AM
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